Drinkin' by myself, ohhhh I'm drinkin' by mah-selffff...
Yeah, I'm on spring break. But I still have to go to work and do two pages worth of shit I said I'd get done sometime in the last year or so...sorry about that. This education shit is for the birds. I want to be out there being fabulous and taking over the world. I love Chicago, I love living here...but...how many more pretty years do I have left? Shouldn't I be out pursuing my amazing career being the daring young girl on the flying whatever right about now?
Today I was contemplating the whole sugar daddy thing. Right now, the Iphy coffers are empty, and mama needs a new pair of shoes. Specifically, some of those girly looking Vans that have the slim sole and tapered toe. I could let some old rich dude grope at my stuff once a week and not have to teach umpity-ump classes to make my rent. I figure, I have bad sex for free at least once in a while. What if I had it on a regular basis for a few months and got myself health insurance and a retirement fund? I know I would be Crossing A Line, but at this point, does it even fucking matter?
There are logistics to consider. How much is the standard? I don't want to undercut anyone, y'know. How often does...it...happen? Does Daddy Warbucks really want to come to the barrio and make the beast with two backs in my creaky Ikea bed? What about my room mates? Also...what about the whole serial killer factor? Would I need to tell one of my friends about my sordid little scheme and set up an elaborate system of daily texts at a specific time, with a name and address to give to the police if one of those texts doesn't show up? Would I need to buy a tazer? Pepper spray?
On some levels, I can't believe I didn't do this sooner. On others...well, would you want your daughter considering this? Your sister? Your best girlfriend? It would be degrading banging a relative stranger for a generous flat rate, but it's also degrading being in your mid-to-late twenties and buying your clothes in the children's department of Target.
So what say you, reading public? Do I throw caution and good sense to the wind and find the nearest willing moneyed codger to exploit? Or do I hold on to the remaining shreds of my dignity and keep trying to pretend that I'm really a nice girl?
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