Iphy, y u no bring the lolz?

I seem to have this magical superpower that involves putting people to sleep. I'm writing this tonight because I was supposed to hang out with Forthright but he passed out on the couch while we were watching a movie before heading to the bar. This happened the last time we hung out, also. Dys always seems to be asleep when I am in the house, and this is not just because I keep coming home in the small hours. I scampered through the front door mid-afternoon the other day and she was out cold with all the lights on and an audiobook playing. Things start going pretty far south with Beta, my ex-ex, because he would head off to the land of nod instead of talking, fucking, fighting, or doing anything with me, really. Ten Hut seems to have developed narcolepsy since he started dating me, too.
At first I worried that I might be incredibly boring. Pshaw. Clearly, this is my X-man mutant power at work. Fear me, callow humans. I have come to destroy your puny circadian rhythms!

I'm back at school for the summer semester. This college degree business is beginning to seem like a convenient excuse never to learn anything new or feign interest in subjects and issues that don't immediately grab your attention post graduation. Four years of forced reading and cramming is pretty much guaranteed to sour a person on any sort of knowledge acquisition. Once you have your degree, assuming you can find some kind of gainful employment that doesn't demand the same, you are free to spend the rest of your life watching reality TV and shopping for stylish yet affordable patio furniture. You've proved that you can consume information and regurgitate it at appropriate intervals. You have a nice little piece of paper as solid evidence of this. No one is ever going to test you anything ever again, so you may feel free to become as lazy and stupid as you like.

I have to say, I'm quite looking forward to that.

Lately, I've been idly toying with the idea of dying alone. I don't mean I'm going to go and live in a cave and go all Henry David Thoreau on your asses. It's just beginning to seem as if the whole marriage / lifelong partnership deal isn't ever going to come my way. At first this filled me with a sense of dread and failure, but I've been mulling it over and my perspective has shifted somewhat. Barring any unforeseen wacky hi-jinx, my life from here on out could pretty much go two ways. I could get my degree, go to grad school, and get some sort of real job. Or I could get my degree, go back to performing full time, and figure it out from there. Neither of those options are contingent on someone else being a part of my life. I can make bad decisions, miss deadlines, second-guess myself, and somehow get things more or less done with or without someone taking up more than their fair share of the bed and getting mad when I show up late to dinner.

I had some concerns regarding the breeding issue. It generally seems be a two-person sort of job, one that needs to take place before a woman reaches a certain age if she doesn't want to spend a bunch of money or have a euphemistically "special" baby. Although it pains me to admit it, I was starting to worry that I might not meet someone who wanted to go along with my crazy plan to pass on my DNA, much less someone who might like to stick around to mould and shape the drooling offspring into an actual functioning human. Quelle horreur! Fulfilling my societally-prescribed life role may be beyond my grasp! To hell with all that. I can raise a kid on my own. Judging by my track record of relationships, the poor creature will probably have a better chance that way. I believe I'll adopt a baby when I'm forty or so, if I don't get around to popping one out sometime before then. By that time I should have some sort of security hashed out, financial and otherwise, so the baby dealers will pretty much have to dig one up for me, right?

I am addicted to memebase.com. I don't know if that makes me hip and with it, or just incredibly lame.

I've also developed an incredibly disgusting habit of picking my nose when I'm by myself and no one can see me. I can say with a certain degree of confidence that this does not make me hip and with it.